Friends,
You may recall way back in July when we welcomed folks to join the unpacking process with us. We heard back from some of you and are thrilled to be passing the mic.
First up, finger snaps and a hearty welcome to India! A designer based in Maine, India wrote this in July: "I’m currently packing, and packing, and packing to move into a 200 sq ft house with no running water. How’d I get so much stuff? Is it really a good idea to just stuff it all into the greenhouse for the foreseeable future? Am I a crazy person for deciding to do this?"
In this edition, we flip the script: Let’s talk about packing and how the act of packing for a transition prompts all sorts of prioritizations, negotiations and life decisions. Over the last year, India and her partner moved from an apartment and office space in Portland, Maine to a small house they built in a rural spot to live closer to family and nature.
Okay, India, set the scene for us. What's happened since you wrote that?
India: I moved out of my office and apartment in Portland. We gave away a few dozen houseplants and a bunch of hand-me-down furniture. I got obsessed with cleaning years worth of dust off the baseboards in our apartment, even though our landlord will definitely not notice. I had a mini panic attack triggered by my partner waiting until the last minute to deal with any of his belongings. It took a lot of letting go on my part to not constantly nag. We moved into our new home and have been there for two weeks, and it's mostly wonderful. Unpacking is going much more slowly.
What made the cut, and what did not?
India: A lot of extraneous, small pieces of furniture made the move. "This might be useful! We can always put it in the greenhouse!" Since we have no kitchen yet, the idea was that some things might be good storage in the interim. A lot of books didn't make the cut. On the last day we left free books on the steps, which led to some nice interactions with passersby. And we filled up all the recycling bins for our building (sorry upstairs neighbors), which is a reminder that in rural Maine recycling is a more complicated matter.
What did you learn from that packing experience that can play a role in your everyday life?
India: I like throwing things out or finding new homes for them. I don't like unpacking, which takes much longer. We've been building our house during the past year on the weekends, which has involved constant packing and unpacking of bedding, food, tools, the dog bed, etc. We are by no means tiny house fanatics (our plan is to build a bigger house in the next few years) so the downsizing was often painful instead of liberating.
In early August I suggested we write a poem and share it at the end of each day, which was a nice way to stay connected and notice what we were processing. The poems were bad and often silly (relevant to last week’s edition! :)).
What else could we have asked, but didn't?
India: “Who else was packing?” My partner and I had been living with a housemate and good friend whose move-out plan was to claim asylum in Canada and join his family there. He grew up in Kabul and was 16 when the US invaded, making him slightly older than the post 9/11 generation. The backdrop to our packing was the growing tension of waiting for his appointment date at the border, rising to the recent Taliban takeover. Late-night conversations were common in an apartment that had descended into chaos and become barely livable as boxes piled up and useful furniture disappeared.
Our housemate is a sensitive, thoughtful person, so finding the right balance of asking how his friends were doing and knowing when not to talk about it anymore was mixed with sadness around leaving the house we've weathered a pandemic together in. I found it grounding to remember that while we were doing a poor job of downsizing from an urban apartment to a small unfinished house in a rural spot, his transition with only a few suitcases was much more stressful.
Thank you, India, for unpacking packing with us. We really appreciate it.
An organization coordinating help and resources for translators and Afghans who worked for the US government can be found here: https://nooneleft.org/ An organization coordinating efforts to help with Afghan refugees can be found here: https://www.lirs.org/
Readers, hope you have a great weekend ahead.
Your pals,
Carrie & Emily