Friends,
Hey there and happy Friday.
Emily here. Last week, Carrie challenged me to write about gummies. If it hasn’t become clear yet, we’re both big fans (and consumers) of these colorful candies. But when I sat down to write a post ranking my top 10 favorite gummies, I felt some discomfort. And that’s because of a fun psychological experience called cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is “the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.” In this situation, my two beliefs are a) I love my Haribos and 2) I am a vegetarian. These two beliefs are in conflict because gummies are made out of gelatin, which is a collagen from animal products.
Yeah, I know, small potatoes. But this is just one example of the thousands of decisions we make in a day, some of which lead to this mental discomfort.
Here’s how this plays out with another belief I hold: I am a climate-conscious person. So, I recycle, have a hybrid car, and donate my clothing. But, I throw away the old peanut butter jar when I’m too lazy to clean it, I drive when I could take public transport, and I buy unnecessary clothing.
By the way, let’s not even get into how most of these individual-action “solutions” to climate change have been pushed on us by gas and oil companies to shift blame from gas and oil companies to the individual. That’s another edition!
With each decision, we weigh how much discomfort we are willing to take on based on our own beliefs about ourselves. Ultimately, we think: we’re all doing the best we can — crafting beliefs about the world and ourselves, and fitting in decisions small and large into this framework. For me, I am content with eating gummies, but not cheeseburgers (and Carrie, just to confirm, my favorite gummies right now are Lifesavers Sours).
Carrie, does this resonate?
Carrie: Well dear Emily, I feel you on cognitive dissonance. It’s become especially real in parenthood. I still think about the right diapers to use on a regular basis. Anyway, the path forward feels like one of picking and choosing our battles, and saving our mental energy for the Big Hairy Questions, such as: What school does our child go to? Where do I live? How do these choices reflect my values?
Water Cooler Conversation
Carrie: First, Emily, what do you think of this fascinating choice of an illustration on this truck? I could barely believe it when I saw it.
Emily: It’s just so gruesome!
Carrie: Speaking of parenthood, if you’re needing some new music: When was the last time you considered the genius of Sesame Street? Songs like Bein’ Green by Kermit the Frog and I Don’t Want to Live on the Moon by Ernie are my current recommendations for listeners of all ages.
Emily: Ernie, I am with you my friend! I also do not want to live on the moon.
Emily: Carrie, we watched Bo Burnham’s new Netflix special the other night, and despite it being hard and sad to watch at times, it was oddly cathartic. Kind of a way to process the pandemic and the hardships of the world ahead of us. I know, putting it that way might not sound appealing, but it was amazing!
Carrie: Three cheers for comedy as a form of processing and healing.
Emily: Here’s a long read to sit with this weekend: The Four Americas, by George Packer. The author lays out a theory that four competing narratives about our country’s history and moral identity have been fighting for influence since the 1970s.
Carrie: George Packer! He always has these seminal deep dives, like this one from last year that I still think about: The End of the American Century.
Okay readers, any thoughts on how cognitive dissonance plays out in your own life? How do you make sense of the cognitive dissonance to lead to something more productive?
Your pals,
Carrie & Emily