Friends,
Hello and welcome to the twentieth (!) edition of Unpacking. If you’ve been enjoying this letter, please share it with a friend.
Today we’re only a few days past Chauvin’s guilty verdict. As many have rightly said, this isn’t justice, this is accountability. We hope you have the resources you need following this moment. Our hats are off especially to Sahan Journal, a newsroom that provides coverage for and about communities of color in Minnesota.
Today in Unpacking, we’re giving an ode to the Honest Person.
Emily here. Entering the inoculated life means more social interactions. And with that, comes the return of my love for the Honest Person. You know who this person is right away — the person who tells you, point blank, their preferences, needs or boundaries.
Here are a few ways the Honest Person is particularly skilled:
Stating their needs: This person will boldly tell you when they need to stop and get some food to eat; they’ll ask you for a glass of water when you’ve forgotten to offer them one; and, they’ll tell you they need to borrow a warm layer or phone charger.
Acknowledging their limitations: This is the person who is self-aware and will tell you when they don’t understand something, can’t be a listening ear at the moment, or don’t have the space to take on a new project. We particularly like when the Honest Person doesn’t feel like they need to provide an explanation.
Just living life: The Honest Person is the one who keeps video off during a Zoom meeting, social or at work, and tells you, “I’m eating my lunch right now” or even just “I’m still in my pajamas.” You do you, Honest Person. And in the process, thanks for inspiring us to go off-screen, too.
Here’s WHY we appreciate the Honest Person: it’s a relief. It removes the burden on the other person to engage in guess-work (Will my friend want to go on a walk with me after work or will they be too tired but say yes anyway...?).
Plus, sometimes honesty inspires other honesty. Take for example this interaction from last week between two newsletter authors:
Carrie: How are you feeling about the newsletter this week?
Emily: I am not feeling it. I’m tired!
Carrie: Me too. Let’s skip it. Spring break!!!
We acknowledge that being honest is an artform, and sometimes it can be hard to be honest without hurting someone’s feelings. So dear reader, any advice for us on how to deliver honest news in a way that takes the other person’s feelings into consideration?
Water Cooler Conversation
Carrie: Emily, this piece by Anne-Marie Slaughter stopped me in my tracks with the line: “Insisting that there is actually a fixed definition of what infrastructure is — bridges, but not baby care — perfectly encapsulates the ways in which the world is still shaped by men.”
Emily: Anne-Marie Slaughter strikes again!
Emily: Here’s an exclusive for you, Carrie. After 12 years of living the strict vegetarian life, I am considering adding fish to my diet. This will be a process. Where do I start?! Any recipe recommendations?
Carrie: Woah, back up! We need to unpack this in another edition! And, hmm...maybe this is when we call upon readers for inspiration?
Carrie: For the moviegoers among us, I highly recommend this story by Erich Schwartzel unpacking the loss of a famous string of theatres in LA. How many stories include Keanu Reeves whipping off his motorcycle helmet at the movie-theatre bar?
Emily: Carrie, as a former WSJ reporter, will you be offended if I tell you I am not a WSJ subscriber? I am sorry. I think they are great, but a lady can only pay for so many news subscriptions, you know?
Emily: Life hack: Working from a computer all day got ya down? March on over to your local drug store of choice and buy some Haribo gummies — the wackier, the better. Then, reward yourself each time you answer an email. Or, just enjoy.
Your pals,
Carrie & Emily
The newsletter, Unpacking, is a modern take on the proverbial water cooler chat. Carrie & Emily, two remote colleagues, talk shop and take a break together. Join the fun and subscribe here.