Hello friends!
How’s it going?
Wait, back up. We meant to start off this newsletter this way:
Hello readers,
Hope this note finds you well.
Ah, tone and punctuation. So tricky, right?! Today we are unpacking digital body language and what it means to perform our lives online.
Carrie here. Pre-pandemic, we spent almost six hours a day on email. Now we likely clock at least six hours of email PLUS the newfound delights of remote meetings via Zoom. After spending most of our lives training to survive socially in-person, we now have a whole new terrain to figure out: the online social skills.
Let’s start with email punctuation and tone. For years the internet has made much of the exclamation point, and the double bind for women: use them! and the professional world sees you as juvenile; or do not use them and the world sees you as curt. (Our quick take: We think the world is doing just fine with an extra exclamation point here and there.)
This question goes beyond the exclamation point to broader questions around digital courtesy. In person, we have some tried and true tricks for showing someone professional courtesy (e.g. offering someone water when they visit your office). How do we do it now? One example: The calendar hold. Who is the one to send the calendar invite? It’s a tiny act of labor, but it also shows care and enthusiasm.
There’s also the subtle matter of energy-matching: When someone writes you an email about JUST HOW EXCITED they are about something, with lots of questions about how you’re doing these days or ideas on how to get started with a new project, it can feel appropriate to match the high energy and level of questions. It can also be tiring. When is it okay to respond with your authentic self, vs. when should we muster up our courtesy and respond line by line? How is this impacted by gender, age, and role (e.g. manager vs. direct report)?
More questions we have about online social skills:
Some of us changed our salutations during the pandemic to some version of “Hope you are doing well in the midst of everything.” What’s the appropriate language now?
When in doubt, is it better to write more formally or more casually?
Do you always translate time zones in emails?
When is it better to cold call someone rather than write them an email?
What’s the verdict on signing off with “Best,” in an email?
What else? Respond to this email with other examples, and we’ll include in our next edition!
Water Cooler Conversation
Emily: Carrie, I know you’re not really on Insta, so I need to show you the beautiful work of art made out of our favorite thing … Gummies! Credit: wrightkitchen.
Carrie: Ha! This is the reporting beat that just won’t die. Also, I did not realize there are pizza gummies AND hot dog gummies. Is that confusing as a sensory experience?
Carrie: Also, Emily, did you know that a deli in New Jersey has a $2-billion market valuation? This is wild, and I wonder if this line is true: “From a traditional perspective, the market is fractured and possibly in the process of breaking completely.”
Emily: I still need to learn what NFTs are. Separately but related: should we take Unpacking public?
Carrie: Dare I say we already are technically public? We are a newsletter of the people, for the people, by the people. BOOM. Also, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention cicadas, right? While this is not exactly pescatarian, perhaps these culinary ideas are of interest?
Emily: I love that there is a Cincinnati spin to those recipes. Also, I can’t wait for the DC-cicadas to show up around here!
Readers, what are we missing about online social skills? Tell us!!! We NEED to know :)
Your pals,
Carrie & Emily