Friends,
Today we’re talking about friendships near and far.
Carrie here. Consider this: When I have an issue crop up (e.g. my furnace was out this week), I text a friend. Sometimes, that friend doesn’t live down the street or even in the same town. I talk about baby-sleep strategies with one friend on the East Coast, real estate questions with a friend on the West Coast, and book recommendations with a friend in the South, all from the comfort of my couch. These very special individuals—thousands of miles away—know more about the lack of heat in my house than my neighbor next door.
Then, this happens: I had an exchange with a stranger at Starbucks last week that made my week. We both ordered matcha. His was cold and the largest size. Mine was hot and the smallest size. We joked around about having the opposite features in the same drink. It was silly and nonessential, but I left that experience craving more chats with people in person, when I can see their eyes crinkle and compliment them on their shoes. (Side note: Remember when Starbucks had couches?)
More than 20 years have passed since Robert Putnam wrote about Americans “bowling alone.” Combine the tech evolutions with the pandemic, and we’re using pandemic idioms like “alone together” as we congregate in more narrow niches of interest.
Since the pandemic forced isolation even in place, my question is: How are we each building support networks of both the in-person and long-distance/virtual variety to fulfill our needs for connection?
Emily, tell me what I’m missing here. Besides you living next door, of course. TOO cheesy? Okay, okay, let’s take it out.
Emily: Carrie, I feel you! One year after a cross-state move and I still feel like I’m figuring out the remote-friend and in-person friend balance. You can replicate a LOT over the phone, but sometimes you just need to be in person to reach the levels of silliness and connection that leaves your stomach hurting and your face sore from smiling, you know?
Carrie: This calls for an Unpacking retreat, I say!
Water Cooler Convo
Carrie: Alright, Emily. I read somewhere that according to some astrologers, we should actually start our resolutions now, in December, not in January. I kinda like this idea. You?
Emily: Should I buy the monthly yoga subscription that I’ll rarely end up using now, or wait until January?
Carrie: Ouch. Maybe it’s time to try something new?
Emily: Carrie, JUST before I read this lovely newsletter draft, I saw this on Twitter: I Moved to a Remote Cabin to Write, and I Hate It. I liked this counter-narrative of someone who didn’t find inner-peace from an instagram-worthy nature retreat!
Carrie: The kicker in this piece is legit.
Emily: Feel like this Atlantic article would be right up your alley, Carrie: America Is Running Out of New Ideas. Also, interesting to read this in light of our conversation about The Beatles documentary. (Anyone else watching that, by the way)?
Carrie: I’m excited to read this piece, thank you for the link! And Get Back is truly one of the most inspiring and thought-provoking shows I’ve seen in a long time.
Emily: Team John!!!
We hope your weekend is full of friendship, in all its multitudes!
Your pals,
Carrie and Emily